Feeling like a Failure

I have been feeling like a complete failure lately.
1.  A failure in the kitchen! David usually comes home from work after a long day with no dinner on the table.  I HATE planning a meal and cooking! When it's time to get into the kitchen I immediately think whatever comes out is going to be crap.  Then the guilt comes in that I am a bad wife...failure!
2.  A failure at life because I don't have a paying job right now.
3.  A failure with self-control.  I want to eat healthy, but Snickers are on sale at Target.  I have to buy a bag.  A bag of chips does not stand a chance in front of me.  I feel guilty for all the bad choices and vow to do better tomorrow.  Tomorrow comes with all its temptation, and I label myself a failure again.

I have been reading Made to Crave and just started Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst.  Both are great books so far! And God is using both to teach me about himself, self-control, and failure.

God loves me even in the mess of feeling like a failure.  I've heard and read God loves me thousands of times, but today I started to believe it!  The failures do not have to define me.  I'm a girl loved by Jesus, that's who I am.  Jesus loves me during this messy season of life, and I know he does not want me to stay here.

In 1 Peter 2:9, God is calling me out of the dark pit of failure.

For you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession.  As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.   

I'm learning about my failures and my weaknesses to grow closer to Jesus, and so God can mold me into the person I am created to be. Today I chose a banana over the candy staring at me.  A small victory, and it may be dumb to some people.  But today I'm thankful for God's strength to say no.  And I'm learning to praise Jesus for the small victories in the kitchen too.  David had more than Skittles for dinner tonight...YAY!  

The picture is a quote from Lysa's book Unglued.  Imperfect Progress. I'm not going to stay in the cycle of failure! One step at a time I'm moving toward Jesus by his Grace.  It is slow, and I'm now okay with that!

The song Greater by Mercy Me has been on repeat today.  These are the lyrics I love most

There'll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn't matter

'Cause the cross already won the war

He's Greater

He's Greater

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how he sees me

And it makes me love Him more and more

He's Greater

He's Greater

Update from the Last Month

Well, I just realized I never updated the blog after our travel day. At the end of August, we moved from McDonough, Ga to St. Petersburg, Fl for assignment #4.  David took over as the Interim Manager at the Chick-fil-A inside Tyrone Square Mall.  We are starting month two at this location and month eight in the IM program. Time is flying.

About a week into the assignment, David and I woke up to some very sad news. I will never forget the morning we found out Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fi-A, had passed away.  We had heard that he was not doing well, but the shock was still there.  I never had the privilege of meeting Mr. Cathy, but several times that day I found myself crying. All day I just kept thinking about the amazing legacy he was leaving behind.  Here was a man that opened his first restaurant in 1946, opened the first Chick-fil-A in 1967 and then grew the company to over 1800 locations.  I greatly admire is business sense, his commitment to Jesus, and his love for people.  David and I would not be where we are (literally would not be living in St. Petersburg) and who we are without Mr. Cathy.  I could continue, but for more information on Truett Cathy visit www.truettcathy.com.  He was such a great man.  I highly recommend it!

During the month of September there was a second IM, Steven, working with David. I spent lots of time with his wife Courtney while our husbands worked at the restaurant. It was so nice to have someone in the area to hang out with and go shopping.  One Sunday afternoon we all went to see the Tampa Bay Rays play!  Tampa lost, but it was still a fun game to watch. The game was played in an inside stadium which I had never seen before.

The apartment we moved into when we arrived was about 30 minutes from the mall and the closest beach.  It was nice, but traffic to the restaurant was terrible. So when we found out we were staying another month we decided to move closer to the mall...and the beach. Now we have this awesome view everyday. I think I will be okay here!